Monday, January 12, 2009

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.
Psalms 119:105

I, like most people, have had many bibles over the years. The one I carry now is inscribed with my married name – Libby Juarez. Aunt Maedeb got it for me as a wedding gift and I carry it with me to church every Sunday. I like that bible a lot, but it is not my bible (Sorry Aunt Maedeb). That bible is my Sunday bible and is in the same category as my Sunday clothes are – prim, proper and meant for Sunday. Then there is my bible. My bible is much like your fat pants – a comfy friend that you love to see.

I remember when I got that bible, I wanted it so bad. The church always gave the graduating seniors a new bible the Sunday before graduation. King James Version – Scofield Study Bible, burgundy. That’s been almost 12 years ago now. I have lots of notes in there, underlined passages and a few candy wrappers that haven’t been discarded. This is my ‘go to’ bible. I can navigate that thing like as good as Billy Graham! Ok, that may be a little bit of a stretch, but you get my point.

When I was in the worst of my panic attacks, I experienced such violent and graphic dreams that I could not sleep, going days without much sleep at all. I would grab my bible and sleep with it as close to me as I could get it. As crazy as it sounds, that worked. The peace of God literally flowed from those leather bound pages and gave me rest.

A few nights ago, I laid down early and reached for my bible before cutting off the light. Both bibles were sitting there, but I grabbed my bible. I instantly felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me and reminding me of all the difficulties that bible has seen me through. I really don’t know what I would do or where I would be without God’s word. I am the first to admit that I am much to cavalier when it comes to my ‘daily bible readings’ but, my new years resolution is to change that. My prayer is that the Lord will create an increasing desire for his word and for time with him. I have learned that God delivers on these types of request.

Since finding out I was pregnant with Andrew, my aim in life has been to raise Andrew in such a way that he seeks and realizes God plan for his life. I know that he was created for a purpose and God has great things for him. I truly believe that it is our – George & I – responsibility to guide him and point him in that direction. God has brought it to my attention, however, that I have neglected someone in that quest – ME!

God does have a plan and purpose for Andrew’s life, but he also has one for mine. Just because I got married and had a baby doesn't mean that he is done with me and is on to Andrew now. So, what is God’s purpose for my life now? I have no idea, but I want to find out and he wants to reveal it – in his time. Now, before you roll your eyes and think that I am a little too stuck on myself, you are in the same place! God has a plan for each and every one of us. He hasn't called us home yet which means he isn't done yet - I read that in my bible. That should be exciting to us.

I have learned the most from my parents by watching them. Maybe, just maybe the best way to raise Andrew to realize God’s plan for his life is to allow him to watch as I realize God’s plan for my life.

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