The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me... To comfort all who mourn, To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified Isaiah 61:1-3

Do you know what this weekend is? This is the first weekend of
November and George and I will celebrate our 1 year wedding
anniversary this weekend. We won't be doing anything major to
celebrate, probably just a nice dinner somewhere... just the
two of us. Of course, that is a rare occasion these days. Not
often do parents with a 5 month old get much time alone.
I have been thinking a lot in the past few weeks about Nov. 3,
2007. What a day that was! Most of you were there. I couldn't
have been happier with my wedding, unless you count the fact
that more reception time would have been nice. I loved the
flowers, the music, the dress, the groom and the cake...boy,
did I love the cake! It was exactly what I wanted, even though
it will probably never be featured in Bride's magazine.
Here we are a year later and we are still pluggin' along. A
lot has changed. The honeymoon ended a lot sooner for us than
for most couples. We were faced with some pretty heavy issues
right off the bat and we found out that there is a reason why
God has an order for things. I would not recommend starting
out your marriage with a precious bundle blooming in your once
trim belly.

In the weeks that followed our wedding we busied ourselves
with getting all my stuff moved in, buying nursery furniture,
buying larger clothes and then even larger clothes. We learned
that while leaving my jewelry on the table is not a big deal
to me, it is maddening to George. Likewise, George can't see
the point in rinsing out his cereal bowl while all I can see
is extra minutes scrubbing that bowl before it can go in the
dish washer. I still haven't figured out why he thinks I
should do laundry on the night he wants it done rather than
the night I have time to do it. I mean, if you still have
clean underwear then what's the rush? By the time May rolled
around, when I did laundry was no longer an issue since I
couldn't get into the laundry basket unless I wanted to risk
not getting out of it.

Seven months into marriage and we were quite proud, we had
done pretty good. Then this... THING... came rising up out of
my belly (literally). This thing which I just knew would come out wearing
a sombrero instead came out with overalls and piece of hay
hanging out of his mouth. This thing changed our comfy little
marriage and left me with what my sister in laws lovingly
referred to as 'pizza dough' where a once cute belly button used to
be. I'd like to say I was as lovely as Jessica Alba post birth
- but, not so much. And George... good Lord, get that boy a nap!

OK, things did level off...well, they ARE leveling off. We are
adjusting. We haven't killed each other...yet (though some days we want to and other days we wish we had). We don't regret
getting married and we certainly don't regret that 'thing' which
has now become our very heartbeat. We have become a family -
warts and all complete with a 'sweet' little brown puppy.

Andrew is, at the moment, perfect. George however, is not
perfect. I'd like to think that I am close, but I think George
would tell you real quick that I am not. I have always heard
that the first year of marriage is the hardest. This made me
very glad to see 11/03/08 coming, then, out of the blue, mama
informs me that it is the first 5 years that are the hardest.
Crap...

In all seriousness though, I say it is true - The Spirit of
the Lord is upon me and he has given me beauty for ashes. God
took the ashes of my panic attacks and gave me the beauty of a
happy and evolving marriage. God took the ashes of my shame and gave me the
beauty of Andrew. God took the ashes of my sin and gave me the
beauty of Jesus. Take a minute and look at your beauty. Turn
around for a moment, a past full of ashes in exchange for a
future full of beauty.